Parents who divorce face the reality that two homes will be trying to meet budgets on the same income that once supported just one. The children will go back and forth between these two homes spending significant time in each home. Best outcomes for the children dictate they should feel comfortable at each home and believe that mom’s house is their house and that dad’s house is their house. It is … [Read more...] about How Does Child Support Work?
Child Custody and visitation are determined based upon the best interests of the children. These determinations may be made by agreement of the parents or after hearing upon the findings and orders of a court. Courts are supportive and very encouraging for parents to make these determinations by agreement. Courts know parents know their children better than anyone and can agree to custody and … [Read more...] about How To Determine Child Custody and Visitation
Visiting with my father-in-law recently, our conversation turned to a recollection from my litigation past. Time and resources are always at a premium in the courtroom, and judges can lose patience with litigants whom they perceive as unreasonable or wasting the court’s time. This couple on this day, 12 – 15 years ago, rang that bell. They were standing in front of the court using their time to … [Read more...] about What Does It Mean to Be A Family Peacemaker?
Most of the emotions that we see during the course of the breakdown of a marriage and the divorce process boil down to fear. I do not say that from my own expertise but from what I have heard over and over again from my colleagues in the mental health profession. The first victim of any marriage that is failing is communications. As communications break down, people can no longer … [Read more...] about Dealing with the Fear in a Divorce
I’m kind of a language nerd. You know the type, likes crossword puzzles and the arcane. For instance, the other night I was a guest presenter at a divorce recovery workshop at a local church. I love guesting for this divorce ministry because once upon a time I needed and benefited tremendously from this ministry [different church, same ministry] so it’s kind of like roots. These are my homies and … [Read more...] about Some words bring laughter, joy and healing; others – grief
Why do so many people throw their personal values out the window when they separate and divorce? You know what I mean. As people choose to separate and divorce, as we get caught up in emotions and conflict, we say and do things that, in our everyday lives we’d never do or say. And this behavior is often condoned, counseled and/or supported by well-meaning family friends and, even, … [Read more...] about Is Divorce Antithetical to Your Family Values?
by Ken Sande, Founder of Peacemaker Ministries I Knew It! “I knew he was too proud to take criticism,” thought Anne, “and now I have proof!” On the previous Sunday, Anne had dropped a prayer card in the offering plate asking her pastor to stop in and pray with her when she went to the hospital for some minor surgery. When he failed to come by, she called the church secretary and learned … [Read more...] about Charitable Judgments: An Antidote to Judging Others